i was thirteen. i had nothing in my life. i didnt know anybody in my family, my father died when i was eleven. i had formed no bonds in my life to speak of. i became distraught with my life, and decided to jump out of a tree. but instead of jumping out of a tree, i ended up going to a hospital called the portsmouth pavilion. it is a psych ward for teens. that is were i found myself consumed by love for the first time in my life.
i was very depressed.. i spent the better part of a month sleeping alot, blacking out. then she came. one day she came into the hospital, and when i saw her i thought she was absolutley beautiful. long blonde hair, beautiful blue eyes, and a smile that made my stomach go into butterflys.i found out her name was becky. i didnt feel like i had anything left to lose, so i approached her and said " i know your gonna say know but im gonna ask you this anyways.....wil you go out with me?".....i thought for sure that she was going to say no, but she said yes!! for the first time in my entire life i had a reason to go on living.. for the next couple of weeks my life had meaning. i remember getting my first nickname. we were picking wich movie to watch and i was the only one who wanted to watch jumanji. after that, everybody called me jumanji. i felt accepted. we would eat breakfast together every morning, we shared so many moments over the next month. then another kid came into the ward and immediatley he had his eyes set on becky. i got insecure, and started to cry in a corner. becky came up to me in her usuall sweet and caring manner, and asked me why i was crying. i told her that i thought she was going to leave me for that guy. she looked at me with the most sincere eyes and told me that she didnt want to be with him, that she loved me, and wanted to be with me. right then and there i was hers heart and soul. after that i got better and the next month i was ready to leave the hospital. on the day i left the hospital, i said my goodbyes to everybody, and then right before i left i wrote becky a note, and she had written one for me. she gave me her name and adress as well as a poem. right as i left, she gave me a hug (for the first time (we werent allowed to touch in the hospital) as she went into the elevator to go to her group, i could see her tears.
i went to school the next day, and i was soooooooo happy that i had a girlfriend, and i wanted to prove it to my best friends that it was true, so i brought beckys not to school to show it too them. it was the most childish and stoopid thing ive ever done. i left it in my desk as i went to recess, and i came back and is was gone. i felt like my body was being ripped apart. i tried soo hard to remember what was on it, but all i could remember was becky 525 and manchester. ever since then...ive been looking for her. ive tried too move on but no one has ever been devoted or as caring as her. .i only hope my story inspires others to hold on to love no matter what, and never take it for granted.
thanks for reading!!